


She

by raininginthestreets



Series: Original Angst [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, Gay, Mild Language, Other, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-04-25 09:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22287853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raininginthestreets/pseuds/raininginthestreets
Summary: A vignette. Angsty. Inspired by "She" by dodie.
Series: Original Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604281
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	She

As I continue to dramatically recall my last Friday encounter with a preachy Christian substitute (who claimed I was “straight on my path”) she bursts out laughing. We haven’t been hanging out as recently since she got a girlfriend and these hours feel like stolen moments of pure joy. 

She helps me feel alive.

I finish my story as I park in front of the ice cream shop. We laugh together while walking in. She feels bad for making me wait thirty minutes (we had a dinner date) and she pays for desert. It’s a nice gesture. 

The growing warmth in my chest sputters out.

She was late because of her girlfriend.

We sit while we wait and talk. We discuss the most recent playlist we burned for each other. I bring up prom. As we talk about dresses (and in my case, a tux) I start the cycle again. Did I ever have a chance? I thought we were getting somewhere. Was I projecting? I thought we had almost kissed. Why didn’t I say anything?

I say something idiotic like the smart-ass I am and I get her laughing again. My smile only reaches so high.

By the end of the night I feel more dead than before. Now and days, her laugh can only do so much.

Her smile only goes so far.

I drive her home. We make plans to see each other again. “Soon,” we say. She works. I work. We’re both in school. She has a girlfriend.

As I drive home, I put on the playlist I made for her for next month (February). It was completed several months ago, before a girlfriend.

When I had hope.

It’s pretty fucking gay. 

And really fucking sad.

I hope she doesn’t understand what it means.

If anything ever goes right in my life, she will finally understand what I’ve been trying to say.

I hope she understands. 


End file.
